


Something You Do At Gunpoint

by Tozette



Series: Soulmate AU Challenge Fics [6]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Contract Killer Kakuzu, M/M, Reincarnation, Smut, Violence, soulmates remember past lives when they see each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 14:22:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8449621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tozette/pseuds/Tozette
Summary: He knows he's got the right guy because he's seen pictures of him. He's got pictures, addresses, schedules. He's got the CCTV footage. He knows he's got the right guy.So it's really inconvenient when he sets up his rifle on the rooftop with the best angle into the guy's office window, sees his mark cross the lens of the scope and thinks:   Hidan's always more trouble than he's worth. He blinks. And buried inside him somewhere, something big and ancient and a little scary wakes up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Oddly specific warning: I know I already put the graphic violence tag in, but be aware that this one features graphic violence committed during sex by one party against the other. 
> 
> Anyway. This is part of the writing challenge I've imposed on myself over on tumblr. If you wanna check out what I'm up to, you can find the rules [over here on my personal blog](http://tozettewrites.tumblr.com/post/152004964326/soulmate-aus-writing-challenge-to-myself). I think the most important thing to know is that it does mean that anything posted as a result of the challenge _has not been edited_! I'll admit my editing process sometimes leaves a bit to be desired but this is pretty much raw.

He knows he's got the right guy because he's seen pictures of him. He's got pictures, addresses, schedules. He's got the CCTV footage. He knows he's got the right guy.

So it's really inconvenient when he sets up his rifle on the rooftop with the best angle into the guy's office window, sees his mark cross the lens of the scope and thinks:

_Hidan's always more trouble than he's worth._

He blinks. And buried inside him somewhere, something big and ancient and a little scary wakes up.

He is Kakuzu. He is older than dirt. He remembers a lot. He remembers a world without soaring metal skyscrapers, where cement didn't cover every surface. There's a smartphone in his bag and a car parked a kilometre away. There's a hand gun at the small of his back and some modern part of him is still a little bit in love with the rifle in his hands.

And there, in that office, that is definitely Hidan.

Soul mates, huh. With Hidan.

He thinks about it but honestly he can't think of anybody who deserves him more.

Kakuzu’s fingers flex.

He isn't sure what happened to Hidan after their last fight together. But for him to be here, now, like this -- they must have killed him. Somehow. Kakuzu can't think of a way just off-handedly. Burning and decapitation didn't do it. Or maybe he really is immortal, and this is exactly the same Hidan, but -- no. He's taller here. A little skinnier.

Kakuzu thinks about the job. Fifty thousand wasn't enough for Hidan back in the day and Kakuzu's hardly going to take less now. It'll take a lot to find a crack in Hidan's immortality big enough to die through.

Even if you ignore inflation, ignore how hard Hidan is to kill, Kakuzu thinks he should be able to leverage a way higher price for killing his soul mate. So after a second's contemplation, he dismantles his scope and stows the rifle, then heads down to cut off Hidan's exit.

Kakuzu waits for him across the street from his office building. It’s the area office for an obscure religious sect, because of course it is. He still wonders at the fact that Hidan -- _any_ Hidan -- does any amount of work in an office. Even if it's almost certainly a front for something, which is what his intel actually indicates. Hidan has spent actual hours at a desk at some point in his life. That's bizarre, really Dali-level surreal stuff.

Hidan looks outside, eyes scanning, even as he locks up. He misses Kakuzu on the first pass because he's a careless idiot. Kakuzu sees it when his eyes land upon him the second time.

Hidan freezes for a second. Then he yanks his key out too forcefully and walks straight across the road. He flips off the car that has to break unexpectedly to avoid flattening him, and Kakuzu thinks: _yep_.

Three seconds later he's in Kakuzu's face, scowling. Kakuzu grabs him before he can start talking -- one hand on his biceps, the other fisted in his hair -- and hauls him down the alley. It's a narrow one, dead end, with nothing interesting in it except a service entrance to the sewer and a couple of garbage bins.

Hidan lets him, or at least his struggles are very half hearted. When Kakuzu slams his spine against the wall Hidan grabs his collar and pulls him in with a strength unlikely for his build. Kakuzu can feel the bone of Hidan's hip digging into his thigh.

" _You_ ," he hisses, a hot rush of breath on Kakuzu's chin. "You _left_ me!"

"I was dead," Kakuzu says flatly. He doesn't feel guilty. But he thinks he'd have gone back for him, if he could have. He's not sure what he left Hidan to, back then, but it can't have been good.

Hidan sneers. "So much for immortality." But he seems mollified in his curious way, like death is a barely-adequate excuse but he’ll let it slide, this time.

They're close enough that when Hidan talks Kakuzu thinks he could lean in and eat the words before they made it out into the air.

Soul mates, huh?

Strange to think a thing like Hidan could have a soul mate. But less strange to think it's Kakuzu.

And Hidan -- he's suddenly looking at Kakuzu like something he's been given, a gift that's all his to ruin as he sees fit. His grip on Kakuzu's collar changes. He can feel one finger run slyly up the side of his throat. His nails are short but sharp.

"There's a contract on you," Kakuzu says.

"I'll bet," says Hidan, looking pleased. Kakuzu bets he'll be less pleased if he tells him the price. "And someone hired you. Are you gonna collect?"

"Maybe," says Kakuzu seriously. "If they renegotiate. They didn't offer me enough for you."

Hidan blinks. Then he smiles like he means it. Kakuzu thinks he probably does, which is lucky, because this is about as much romance as Kakuzu's constitution can tolerate.

"You're hard to kill," he clarifies, in case he’s given the wrong impression. Evidently he hasn’t, because Hidan doesn’t look the least bit disappointed.

Hidan lifts his chin, "Shit, yeah, I am,” he says, and then he laughs uproariously, like this is the best joke ever. That hasn't changed much either, still a raucous and harsh noise. It makes Kakuzu think of crows.

"Tell me who it is," he says breathlessly, once he’s done cackling like a madman. His fingers have migrated now, playing with the short hairs at the nape of Kakuzu's neck. He’s not forcing Kakuzu’s face in with his grip on his collar anymore, but Kakuzu doesn’t move. "You renegotiate, I'll track them down and kill them; we'll see who finishes first."

Kakuzu thinks about it. About the time it takes to renegotiate. About how long it takes Hidan to kill someone. "I already told you there's a contract. You're trying to stack the odds with a name."

"Hey," says Hidan petulantly. "My _life's_ at stake here. What the fuck kind of soul mate are you?"

Kakuzu scoffs. He could cut Hidan's head off and bring it to them in a gift box and it'd be the equivalent of a bad night's sleep for Hidan.  He doesn't bother pointing this out.

Hidan rolls his eyes at Kakuzu’s pointed silence, then cups the back of his neck and pulls him in for a kiss. It's more enthusiastic than competent, which is also familiar. Kakuzu tells himself he hasn't missed it, even when Hidan sucks on his tongue and his knees threaten to unhinge. That there’s no part of him that’s been hovering uncertainly, waiting to wake up and get back to this. It feels good; that doesn't mean he's missed it.

Still. He thinks his contact’ll have to offer him _a lot._

Hidan smells almost the same, in a modern-soap-clean-shirt sort of way. There’s always something a little burnt, a little metallic, right under the ambient smells. And there’s still something compelling about smelling his sweat. Kakuzu messes up his hair and inhales just beneath his ear. Kakuzu is bigger, big enough to pin him with his body weight. Hidan makes a low excited noise like that’s the best possible outcome here.

Hidan digs his fingers into Kakuzu’s neck and bites his jaw. The bites are hard, hard enough to feel damage under the blunt pressure. They’ll show up red and purple almost immediately. That also hasn’t changed.

“You wanna do it on the street?” Hidan laughs at him, and Kakuzu thinks _who’s going to stop us?_ Unceremoniously he shoves one hand down Hidan’s trousers.

He rubs the heel of his hand right down the length of his cock and Hidan makes a soft, half-strangled noise. “Okay, that’s hot,” he says, and then there’s just Hidan breathing in the shared space between their mouths. His dick fills out and stiffens very quickly under Kakuzu’s fingers. This, too, is familiar, a jarring sort of _was-this-last-week, was-this-last-century_ sort of feeling.

Kakuzu has absolutely no interest in thinking strange existential thoughts while he’s giving somebody a handjob. Weird philosophy is more Hidan’s wheelhouse. His spare hand is still caught in Hidan’s pale hair, so he makes a fist and closes it steadily, squeezes until it has to be painful. Hidan responds exactly as he expects – he arches and clings to Kakuzu’s shoulders with surprising strength.

“Yes, come on, Kakuzu you shithead, come _on_ –”

He says ‘come on’ but it’s clear that this is doing it for him, the long, rough strokes of Kakuzu’s hand stuck awkwardly down his pants, the press of his heavy-muscled body shoving him up against the wall. The hair-pulling is just a bonus.

Kakuzu can hear Hidan’s breathing coming hard in aborted groans. He tips his head back against the wall of the alley, pants “Yes!” between his teeth, giving Kakuzu a heavy-eyed stare.

Kakuzu goes for the gun at the small of his back. He can see the expression cross Hidan’s face when he realises that the cold metal against his head is a weapon – his movement stills but his breathing is harder, and there’s a beautiful moment where his lips fall apart and his pupils swell madly. Hidan’s dick twitches hard in Kakuzu’s hand, and Kakuzu squeezes, pulls another long slow tug from the base to the head – wet, now, completely slick with pre-ejaculate and so hard under the velvety skin.

Kakuzu doesn’t blink. He just pulls the trigger.

The noise is enormous, and the back of Hidan’s skull disappears in a bloody spray. There’s a second of ringing silence where Kakuzu starts to second guess himself, but his cock just seems to swell harder, and then one of Hidan’s blood-spattered hands grips his shoulder and his whole body goes wire tense. He makes a sound like a choked off scream, a wild noise he can’t keep down, and –

“Yes, that’s what I thought,” says Kakuzu.

That’s not hot, not really, all the blood and grey matter spraying the wall. But Hidan stumbles forward, mouth open, lips wet with blood and drool, and he moans wildly. All his muscles tense up like wire and he makes these noises, loud and broken. They feel like hot oil down Kakuzu’s spine. They make him shudder.

He feels the sudden sticky heat of what feels like every last bit of semen in Hidan’s body exiting when he comes. He can’t smell it over the raw-meat smell of new death, but he squeezes his cock encouragingly, gets a loud scratchy groan for his efforts.

“Shit,” pants Hidan, getting blood and bone fragments and bits of brain all over Kakuzu’s shirt when he leans forward. “Shit, that hurts.”

Kakuzu snorts.

A second later he lifts his head – what remains of it. Kakuzu has to wonder, because the modern era has pretty firm ideas about brains and what they’re responsible for and what requires them, but Hidan is, all up, about as coherent as he usually is.

“What the fuck, was small caliber too much to ask for? You dick. I’m not sucking your cock until my skull grows back.”

“That’s fine,” grunts Kakuzu. It’s true that this might have been less messy if he’d been carrying a nice ladylike .22 but he doesn’t own one – and he’s pretty sure that something about the mess appeals to Hidan anyway. He always did like a bloodbath.

It only takes fifteen minutes for Hidan’s skull to re-emerge, and then he’s bitching about what may or may not be in his hair. He shoves Kakuzu backward and keeps going until his back smacks into the other wall of their dimly lit alley.

He digs his nails in when he drops to his knees, leaving long reddening welts on his stomach. “Pull my hair and I’ll bite it off,” he warns.

**Author's Note:**

> Kakuzu/Hidan request by tumblr user syndellwins 
> 
> Bit of an anecdote: this one appeared in two separate posts on the tumblr - I broke the rules by deleting stuff from the end because I don’t know the person who made the request, and as you can see the end was the kind of porn that ends in gunshot wounds and grey matter all over the wall! So I went and assumed that this is probably like an acquired taste? But it turns out that if you admit to omitting graphically violent pornography from the end of your fic people will ask for it, so here it is in complete form.


End file.
